G.A.O.L.T.O.C.
(belongs to you)
This is something I am not
sure about. For a while I have been
thinking of doing this. This is where
it all comes together and becomes one thing that all replies to what I thought
in my head. The time has come for this
to be drawn and the line to be set. 8
guitars and two microphones, two drum machines and two synths, projecting the
spirit of my head as radio projects the spirit of the dead. Life will renew, renew, some day they
say... Love and death are the opposites
which combine to create consciousness which is equal to unconditionally
life. Love and strife combine to become
one. Without love life has meaning -
one sided... I am not going to be like
U2 or the rock and roll ideals of the 60s and 70s and say that everything is
solved by love, or that love is the all powerful and force that can heal all,
or that love is the blind or the dead or the anything else. Don=t
get me wrong, I dig U2. There is a time
when the untrue, the wishes and desires for the ideal becomes too much to
handle. It gets to a point where it is
time for ideals to awaken to reality.
No, not an existential nihilistic perspective, though perhaps the
reality is there. When one finally
confronts the reality one is greeted with . . . silence. Pain.
Death. And in small amounts that
can be parsed and repressed all to easily by the head, which has a tendency to
get things wrong. I suggest that you
listen to this: all this pain belongs to you.
All your time belongs to you.
All your death belongs to you.
The pain, the unbearable strain of the eyes reading the overly artistic
and >beat= text belongs to
you. The life of scrutiny and attention
to work that maybe a friend brought to you or artistic statements that try so hard
but don=t fly: for you.
Errors in timing belong to you, you are the keeper of all that you
perceive. Objectivity does exist in the
eyes of the many. You are among the
many who view this objectivity and don=t
think to question it, don=t stop to check your perception and see what doors are
open how much. You few who read and see
me, see the writer, the person sitting at the computer at 1236 am on August 29
2000 thinking about things to say to try and convince you to think about what
you are reading and to slow . . . down . . . and . . . read . . . each . . .
word . . . Order sentences meaningless
are words in no. Parse. Pay attention? All the disgust belongs to you, the criticism, the lack of
attention to your dull and dreary mundanity . . . most of you are probably more
thoughtful and deeper about what comes out than I am. This is why it belongs to you.
The metaphor is yours, the rebuttal yours, all the eminems and anger in
the world couldn=t live up to the real true communication, people saying
everything they are to anyone else.
This causes pain, it belongs to you.
The text wraps neatly, printed, but the words ring falsely, boring,
dull. Boring dull is life, art imitates
life? This must be art... You can continue to scrutinize the gargantuan
album of less than original concept, but this gargantuan album of less than
original concept will continue to be.
It will always occupy space, be it in the pain and death or in the life
and love. Songs not necessarily perfect
. . . 4 months of emotion then 2 weeks of life devoted . . . and soul poured,
the opening of a door, see my insides, see how I am. I cloud with metaphor and ambiguity to protect myself against the
wrath (belongs to you). You I thought I
knew, I know I never will, because you will always own it all, all of it
created in your eyes, and my contribution but a pittance in the grand scheme of
all that is. The world runs
governmentally and strongly despite your attempts to the contrary, and it will
continue to - control you, control itself.
Control is that which creates and that which prevents creation. A decided life, an entity independent of the
individual. The world is a sopping heap
of capitalism, a society where money replaces basic human need and decency and
morality. If ethics are subjective, why
do you feel angry when someone cuts in front of you in line? Why do you feel hurt when someone
kills? The ethics are there, if in a
diluted form. But when the humans are
in control and the dehumanization of a system of control started by money isn=t, you will remember to not kill, you will remember
that to give is better than to receive, you will remember what it was like to
be good. God is there for us only if we
think he is. (Belongs to you). Take solace in your angeldust, be acrobatic
with the fucked up insomniacs, take randomness to be. R.E.M. is a hero in their own right, living without the regard
(aka David Foster Wallace) to the comprehension. It is a greater and more robust, higher, and better way, not
living in the day to day. Your time is
of value only to you (belongs to you) and that is what controls whether you see
what they do. To sit and watch a wall
with light and air of dense and forgotten years with payphone muzak dripping
through the 20 minute hold, not caring and constantly feeling. This is what can be had with the elimination
of the evil of comprehension. (Belongs
to you) The gargantuan album of less than original concept is perhaps more less
gargantuan than original, if my modesty escapes me (belongs to you). To which I say, I can=t think about that and still release what I have always
wanted to.
If you want to know where I
am, what I think, where I come from, what I do, and who I love, who I am, I don=t know how to tell you. All that you know and all you want to know belongs to you, all
will be. I quote what I am, I think who
I am, and I will take nothing from you but your time, your attention. Your attention gives me life, it belongs to
you. The modern poets will eventually
take over and destroy the destruction that is being wrought by the industries
that be. I subvert the industry because
I don=t need it. So
let this be a constant reminder. I am
sorry. I am sorry to give so little
with so many words, to give so little back from so much space. It is my hope that you will forgive identify
and respect what is the best I could do which I hope will be better. Any criticism belongs to you, and any
destruction you choose to place on me belongs to you. My broken pieces belong to you, bones, and bodies strewn about
for you to collect at your desire, with your attention reserved for the
occasion. The filler, the words, the
symbolism, the metaphor, the lack of proper explanation is due to a few
factors: personal inability to give what should be given to you, inability of
you to accept the gift without some kind of excessive packaging, and the need
of the world to accept things only in a diluted form. Hence what is given to you, hence all belongs to you, and hence I
give everything to you. I wish to give
special thanks to stephanie ben alex and clifton camus mccardell headman and brooks respectively, for their
help. Inspiration, discussion,
intellectual arguments, loving support and help in the times when down;
equipment that made the recording of the album possible at all; support and
help, equipment; and support and most importantly the video and art you are
looking at. This music and information
and everything contained in it is copyrighted by me, charlie detar, and
reproduction is of such situation that I will be happy for the extra support,
so I guess it=s fine. But
hey, do not sell it, though it belongs to you, so distribute, but don=t make money from your distribution, because that is
how I am able to make it. That=s why I sell these for two dollars. Covers expenses, etc. Gaoltoc thanks you, the gargantuan album of
less than original concept, which hopes to subvert the destruction imposed by
the riaa and the general status of the radio of the top forty variety.
Also, to give credit where it is
due, keyboards on ADreams Become One@ are
played by the most amazing keyboard player available, Kevin Dazet. Drumming on that number is provided by Steve
Lyman. The phrase Aman that was a bitch move@
(from the song AThe Definitive Bitch Move@
was originally said by the venerable Edward Kim, and I thank him for it. The rest is me.
thanks, charlie detar
Triptych Journal of Exposition
I. Bus is half full
The bus is half
full
the sun years away
light comes in the
corner
the morning is
late
the sounds of the
traffic
peace in still
motion
constant emotion
you breath out the
world
breath in
the driver is distant
the passengers too but
can you connect
with your high school ex girlfriend,
of hours on the
phone
and hours all
alone
it=s not enough
not enough
back on the street
firm cold concrete
sidewalk unrolls
under your feet
winds brought me
here
winds
they told me about
you,
your underworld
castle __
where dreams
become one
and lives become
empty
your lonely repast
you stay the last
your walls in your
walls
we are all in this
world a stage -
and we are just
players, but mine is a monologue
to you, the chorus
I preach to the
choir
but the choir won=t keep faith,
the walls stay
between us
your twilight is
only alone
if you=re breaking your
bones for the four walls around you
break down the
fourth wall
break down the
fourth wall
touch me
touch you
touch me
touch you
touch me
touch you
touch me
touchyou
III. Page 2
i of you
wish i=d known
smuch as you
of me=ve shown
trees of green
skies of blue
i=ve not seen
enough of you
show me life
show me death
i can=t see
past my head
you have more
balanced be
i must know
what you mean
and i don=t mind
at all
i don=t mind
wish i
Could see you
as you see you
(as you see me)
Dreams Become One Column One We swing and we sway with each passing day with every turn our dreams become one thought slips away though memories stay spinning we learn the course of the moon oh yeah oh, no, don=t make me go oh, no, don=t make me go... I need to stay today. I need to go and play - don=t make me run away . . . I want to float away spinning to dance; dancing to spin wobble and turn float from the room. But then comes the day thoughts slay and stay spinning I grill, hold on to the hill oh, no, don=t make me go - oh, no, don=t make me go! I need to stay today, I need to go and play. Don=t make me run away... I want to float away. away - |
Thursday I=m
-Sardonic-
Oh
girl please
can
I call you any time
baby
will you say that you=ll be mine
come
on baby
treat
me right
let
me come inside tonight
hey
hey
ooooh,
I need your love so bad now.
Oooh,
please, will you let me know if
all
of the times we would just be friends -
all
of the time we would thusly spend..
better
ways we could spend.
oooh,
I need your love so bad now.
Ooooh,
please, will you let me know if
all
of the times we would just be friends -
all
the time we would thusly spend,
better
ways we could spend.
Oh
girl please,
can
I call you any time?
Baby,
will you say that you=ll be mine?
Come
on baby, treat me right...
Let
me come inside tonight,
hey
hey.
Hey
hey.
Candid
Grow and grow
to reach and know the way that I
will have to go to see my world
from overhead and hear my world
from overhead it=s wondrous here
to without fear
be held
Reach to reach you
feel to feel you
come around but not desire
cut my heart in two
what I forget
what I regret
can=t be out of
what is not yet
where I reach and
what I feel
can=t be out of what is real
one to be new
two my life to
three disown my
recognize you
you i last
get
knew confess i on
me i think it
first loved but wrong
wish you could see words I cannot say
Reach to reach, to reach you and feel
feel to feel you
come around but not desire
cut my heart in two
I am paralyzed by you;
I try to think, I try to do
but mirrors drown me,
fear surrounds me,
canned discussion carries round me
light repels me
thought compels me
in my mind I have to dwell I=m
standing on the power eyes
I=m standing with the world=s demise
standing on the stand of all
standing ready ready fall
reach to reach you
feel to feel you
come around but not desire
cut my heart in two
Single
I
I think I=ll be
a fire man
to take care of the neighbors cat
I think I=ll be
a beurocrat
to make sure I have
many hats
careful of the pious mass
careful not to drive to fast
let them know how I=ve a play
to build a castle in
the sand and sea
what time will bring
see
what time will bring
I think I=ll be
a police man
to keep the riffraff off the land
stop the dreams
stop the dreams
things are always what
they seem
careful not to drive to fast
take a walk with(/out) a friend
make your bite of chocolate last
see another player=s hand
don=t be out after 8
riffraff come out
when it=s late and see
what time will bring
see
what time will bring
but you=ll
never be
anything
but anhedonist
disease
to me
Hannuchay
GOOD NEWS
so far I=ve lived
so far I=ve
been
so far I=ve
died
to be with you
so far I=ve lived
all these dreams
today, oh
so far I=ve
been
to be with you
Hannuchay
Hannuchay
Hannuchay
hannuchay
and good news will come
good news will come
maybe not to day...
but someday -
someday good news
edwa
so far I=ve lived
so far I’ve been
so far I’ve died
for you
so far
I’ve lived
to be with you
so far I’ve lived
all these dreams today, oh
so far I=ve
been
to be with you
Hannuchay
Hannuchay
Hannuchay
Hannuchay
Cold Coffee In the Pot
roll over to start your day
roll over to start your day
can=t remember anyway
any reason you should stay
it=s cold when in the throes of time
one should deign to make thee mine
but thee and thine to someone else
the love and ever life to profess
cool air can make me sleep
but summer ran a bit too deep
so unfulfilled thus I forget
the coldness that you can dispense
drip by drip the passing days
squeezed out of my forced restraint
condensed into a single cup
to you I toast, give it up
to you
I=ve got no one else to blame
I=ve got no one else to blame
I=ve got no one else but me
but me
The Definitive Bitch Move
man
man
man that was a bitch m
man that was a bitch m
man
bitch move
move move move move
bitch move
move move move move
bitch move
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
bitch move
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
manmanmanman / movemovemovemove
movemovemovemove
man that was a bitch / bitch move
bitch move
man
movemovemovemove
man
movemovemovemove
bitch move
movemovemovemove
man
movemovemovemove
man that was a bitch
movemovemovemove
bitch move
movemovemovemove
bitch move
man that was a bitch /movemovemovemove
man that was a bitch /movemovemovemove
man that was a bitch /movemovemovemove
man that was a bitch move /movemovemovemove
manmanmanman
manmanmanman
manmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanman
manmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanman / manmanmanman
manmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanman / manmanmanman
manmanman /manmanmanman
manmanman /manmanmanman
manman manman manmanman /manmanmanman
movemovemovemove /manmanmanman
manmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanmanman /manmanmanman
manmanman /manmanmanman
manmanman /manmanmanman
manman man man man manman /manmanmanman
movemovemovemove /manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman / bitch move
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman / bitch move
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman / bitch move
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman / bitch move
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman / bitch move
man that was a bitch move / manmanmanman / bitch move
man that was a bitch move